As I have said elsewhere, a generous amount of happiness for children is not a frivolous desire, a privilege or even a right, it is a deep and fundamental need. Growing up without enough happiness, joy and pleasure actually generates emotional illness. It is our job as parents to provide that happiness daily, in doses wisely administered at specific intervals when needed. 

We as parents all want to teach our child how to become a kind person, to be generous to others and to not be selfish. How do we accomplish this?

Many parents seem to express an interesting philosophy. They say “I don't mind buying him whatever he wants as long as he earns it.” They seem to feel that this way they're teaching the child a good work ethic, that goodies don't come for free and to appreciate the value of a dollar. In addition, having the child earn his privileges relieves a parent of that great fear going around that my child will be spoiled, since if he earned it he's obviously not spoiled..

“My kids make such a mess,” is a common complaint of many parents. “I'm sick of cleaning up after them, they need to clean up their own mess.” This is a reasonable position, but how is it accomplished? Asking children to clean up often simply generates resistance. It may be more difficult to get them to clean up than it is to just clean it up yourself.   Threats and punishments don't seem to work very well either. My clinical experience shows that they just result in more misbehavior and not very much cleaning.